The invasion of the ice cream eating aliens
This is an entry in Junior Dispatch’s alien short story contest. The effort earns the writer a free book from the York Emporium and a chance to win a $50 movie gift card and a $50 gift certificate from The York Emporium. Read the rules to the contest here, and get your story in by August 1.
By Carson J. Snelbaker
Age 9, Dover
Once upon a time, over 500 years ago, the aliens of Saturn attacked the Earth. Now, since most people know about it … What??? Have I heard correctly? You don’t know about the time when the aliens attacked Earth to steal all of the ice cream? Wow! And to think I thought my grandma wasn’t up to date!! Well then, pull up a stool, and let’s get started!!!
Once upon a time, 501 years ago (the invasion lasted a little over a year), on January 1st, the Alien King, King Bob III, was just about to taste a strange substance that the Chief of Explorations had found on some planet called Earth (or so he thought he overheard from eavesdropping). After stealing the substance from an innocent, little space creature (a young boy), he brought it back for the King to try. The King soon found out that the “strange substance” was ice cream!
The best servant, Henry, came into the banquet hall with the King’s butler, Harry P. Otter. Butler Harry brought in the ice cream on a silver platter carrying it with one hand behind his back and the other hand holding the platter above his head (the way butlers do). Harry gave it to Servant Henry, and Henry fed King Bob III one spoonful of the ice cream into the King’s open mouth. Everyone in the room got quiet. Suddenly, the King burped loudly, and demanded, “Get me more of this delicious stuff!!” The Chief of Explorations explained, “If you’re wondering what the ‘delicious stuff’ is called, it is called ice cream,” (or so the Chief thought from, once again, eavesdropping).
At that moment, one of the lookouts ran in and said that he had seen a space ship coming. King Bob III gave him the OK and the lookout hit a button that made the castle invisible. After the space ship passed, everyone started talking again. Everyone that is, except for the King. The aliens were in deep conversation when someone noticed that the King wasn’t talking. That alien told his friend, who told his friend, who told his friend, who told his friend, and so on. When everybody heard that the King wasn’t talking, they stopped talking too. Well, Butler Harry heard his fellow aliens talking when the word was being passed around and asked the King why he wasn’t talking. He answered, “I’m not talking because I have a brilliant idea to get more of the ice cream I tasted just a moment ago, and I was thinking about it.” A moment later the King announced that his idea was to build a bridge to Earth, and invade it to steal all of the ice cream on the planet!!
King Bob III recruited 3,000 workers and 5,000 troops to start the Bridge Invasion Project. He set off to work with 3,000 workers behind him. The other 5,000 were in training (the 3,000 workers were war veterans, so they didn’t need training). With the 10 tons of supplies that the Chief of Explorations had gathered by stealing over the years, the King managed to get 5 out of the 1,825 miles of bridge built on day 1. At this pace, the bridge to Earth would take 365 days to complete.
Just then, one of the lookouts ran to the King reporting that a space shuttle from Earth was headed their way.
“What will we do?” asked Butler Harry P. Otter.
“We capture their ship and use the pieces for the bridge, that’s what! I, King Bob III, will not let some pesky, little space ship get in the way of my creation!” said the King. “Get the cannons ready for the attack!!”
Meanwhile, on the American’s “pesky, little space ship,” this was heard:
“This is the Apollo 18 reporting that a large bri… What in the world was that??” said Captain George. “Co-pilot Jack, check the engine room, on the double!”
Co-pilot Jack replied, “Yes, Captain George!”
Captain George said, “Rookie Rick, check the oxygen levels, and once again, on the double!”
Rookie Rick replied, “Right away, Captain George!”
“That leaves me to check the controls,” thought the Captain to himself. Just then, Copilot Jack came back and said that the engine room was in flames. “I wonder what caused it?” thought the Captain. Rookie Rick ran in and reported that the oxygen levels in the ship were dropping drastically.
“Uh-oh,” thought the Captain, “What will we do?”
“A critical hit!” exclaimed King Bob, III. “Fly a fleet of five out there to capture the Earthlings, take their space ship apart, and wait for further instructions.”
“OK, your Majesty,” said Butler Harry P. Otter.
“Captain, look!” said Rookie Rick. “There are five space ships headed our way, and they have claws on them! Maybe they want to tow us back to Earth!”
“Hold your horses, Rookie,” said the Captain. “They don’t look like any of our ships.”
Suddenly, the claws clamped onto the space ship and Butler Harry spoke to the Earthlings through a microphone in his ship. “Surrender in the name of King Bob III. We have some questions for you,” Harry said as his ship started towing the Apollo 18 toward Saturn.
“Why are they towing us toward Saturn?” asked Co-pilot Jack. “I don’t know,” said the Captain. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”
On their way to Saturn, the aliens started to ask a lot of questions that strangely all related to ice cream, such as: “How do you eat it?” But most of the time the Americans didn’t answer because they thought that the aliens were bad, and were very afraid. They were also trying to conserve oxygen.
This process of capturing Earthling space ships happened quite a few times before the Earthlings started to notice. By September, the humans realized they needed an army of 40,000 to scare the aliens away from attacking them. They only had five months to prepare before the Bridge Invasion Project would be complete. The Earthlings still had no idea that the aliens just wanted ice cream!
It was tough, but the Earthlings did it! By December 31, the aliens completed the bridge, but both armies were ready for battle. Little did they know that the battle would be over before it even started.
Right before the battle started, the Head of the Army said to the King, “What are we having a war about anyway?”
“Ice cream!” King Bob III replied.
“Why?” asked the Head of the Army.
“Because I want to steal all of the ice cream on Earth!” said the King.
“You could’ve just asked instead of having a whole war about it.”
“True.” said the King. “Then in that case, may I please have some ice cream?”
“Yes,” said the Head of the Army. As long as we can visit on that awesome bridge to
“Sure!” was the King’s reply.
King Bob III went home with his ice cream and lived in peace with the Earthlings. He also learned a valuable lesson. Ice cream is not something worth fighting a war for. Ice cream can be shared. But cake, on the other hand …